Fuck you, Penguin, my dear sweet baby, I am sorry you feel that I do not approve of you. Quite the opposite is true. It breaks my heart, in fact, that you think otherwise. Let me explain.
I am 72 years old--soon to be 73 on July 15 (I'm a Cancer--the crab, funny, isn't it? At least it's a water sign. Ha!)--and my unmovable facial expression is simply a result of my age. I am old, so miserably old. I look old. I feel old. Thus, my face is not the same, flexible and lovely thing it once was. I have seen you watching me at the aquarium, Fuck You, Penguin. I know you love me. I love you, too, dear.
I would blame my hardened, expressionless face on hardship, but adult sea turtles have few natural enemies in the wild--just sharks and humans. Besides, I lived in the wild only a short time.
And humans, I have forgiven humans. Humans rescued me as an adolescent from a hard life on the "streets" as it was, and I am forever thankful for that. I lived fast. I ran with a really bad crowd. I snatched bait that was obviously attached to fishing hooks. I had run-ins with tiger sharks. I played games of chicken with the outboard motors on boats. I was angry, so angry.
Then, one day, when I was just 15 years old it all came crashing down on me. I got hurt--real bad. All I remember was waking up washed up on a sandy shore with an injured front flipper and a cracked shell. And I was rescued--by one of your kind. I've had a thing for humans ever since.
I've been living in this public aquarium for almost 60 years now. It is safe, but it is boring. So I don't look like a wild child. I don't whoop it up and smile crazily. I am old and unchallenged. I am living in front of an audience in this mega-gallon tank with gentle and beautiful angelfish and some even more curmudgeonly than I moray eels. But Fuck You, Penguin, when you came that day, and looked at me for an hour as I swam, I felt your love. And I return it. Whole-heartedly, my sweet. My face cannot show that to you. My face is old, and it is tired. Beloved, I am simply waiting to die. But before I do, I need you to know that you--you adorable thing--are the latest, greatest love of my life.
My heart is yours. Always.
I am 72 years old--soon to be 73 on July 15 (I'm a Cancer--the crab, funny, isn't it? At least it's a water sign. Ha!)--and my unmovable facial expression is simply a result of my age. I am old, so miserably old. I look old. I feel old. Thus, my face is not the same, flexible and lovely thing it once was. I have seen you watching me at the aquarium, Fuck You, Penguin. I know you love me. I love you, too, dear.
I would blame my hardened, expressionless face on hardship, but adult sea turtles have few natural enemies in the wild--just sharks and humans. Besides, I lived in the wild only a short time.
And humans, I have forgiven humans. Humans rescued me as an adolescent from a hard life on the "streets" as it was, and I am forever thankful for that. I lived fast. I ran with a really bad crowd. I snatched bait that was obviously attached to fishing hooks. I had run-ins with tiger sharks. I played games of chicken with the outboard motors on boats. I was angry, so angry.
Then, one day, when I was just 15 years old it all came crashing down on me. I got hurt--real bad. All I remember was waking up washed up on a sandy shore with an injured front flipper and a cracked shell. And I was rescued--by one of your kind. I've had a thing for humans ever since.
I've been living in this public aquarium for almost 60 years now. It is safe, but it is boring. So I don't look like a wild child. I don't whoop it up and smile crazily. I am old and unchallenged. I am living in front of an audience in this mega-gallon tank with gentle and beautiful angelfish and some even more curmudgeonly than I moray eels. But Fuck You, Penguin, when you came that day, and looked at me for an hour as I swam, I felt your love. And I return it. Whole-heartedly, my sweet. My face cannot show that to you. My face is old, and it is tired. Beloved, I am simply waiting to die. But before I do, I need you to know that you--you adorable thing--are the latest, greatest love of my life.
My heart is yours. Always.
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