Saturday, April 25, 2009

FYP Feels That Tasmanian Devils Misrepresent Themselves

Fuck You, Fuck You Penguin! We need to get a couple of things cleared up.

1) Misrepresent? Give me a break. What kind of moron can't tell the difference between a drawing and a photo? That profile picture is a caricature of me that I got done last summer by one of those idiots at Six Flags. I mean c'mon! I'm hugging a giant red heart in it! Did you really think that was a photo? Get some glasses, Fuck You, Penguin.

2) You are a fucking crazy-ass stalker! Who the hell asked you to come to Tasmania in the first place? It wasn't me, you psycho. I was all happy living the life--screeching, smelling like I rolled in shit, hunting, scavenging and generally being one mother-fucking excellent carnivorous marsupial. Then you showed up, you stinking swamp witch, saying we had made some sort of online love connection! What the fuck? You almost ruined my relationship with Mindy, my girlfriend of seven months. Obviously, you read way too much into that clever comment I posted when you tore rabbits a new one (those shitheads totally deserve to be the target of your attacks). Be warned, I've gone to the courts and obtained a restraining order. Fuck You, Penguin, you are no longer allowed within a thousand feet of my habitat. Bitch.

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